This is what I do...all day long...

The Fishies Are Here!

Guess what?!?!?!? Mommy's man-friend moved a huge fish tank to my house the other day. Then yesterday my dreams came true - he put real live fishies in it! At first I didn't know what Percy was looking at, because he's stupid and sometimes plays with things that aren't real. But then I realized that there were real live fishies in the tank and my heart skipped a beat.

Mommy says I can only look and not touch. She even put a fortified lid on the tank. But I know - I just know - I can figure out a way to have a really good kitty snack. I barely ate or even drank my water from the faucet I have been so busy staring at the fishies.

I gotta go plot how to get in!

Kitty Cream = All kinds of good stuff

Sorry I haven't blogged in so long. Mommy hasn't let me anywhere near the computer in forever. She started putting this cream in my ear and for some reason, even though I hate it at the time, I kinda feel better later. Kinda relaxed and happier, even around her man-friend.

But I digress...I have big news to share with you. I'm getting the man-friend in a permanent way - Mommy says that he is going to officially become my daddy and that they're going to the church to make it happen. I would normally be pretty ticked off about this sort of thing, but my new cream tells me to chill and be content. I think this whole thing is why Mommy hasn't let my paws on the keyboard lately. She's been running around like a wet dog recently and acting stressed. Although she had promised me I'd never have to worry about a daddy, here it is in my face.

Aha! I have an idea! Maybe Mommy needs some of my kitty cream stuff in her ear!

Spreading Sunshine

For some reason, I have been feeling really friendly the past few days. I like to call it "spreading sunshine" to my peoples. I'm not sure why, but I seem to be in harmony with my environment and even don't mind seeing Percy prowling around the house. I actually let Mommy rub my tummy, which is typically off limits, the other night when we were snuggling.

Life is good!

She took me again!

Mommy must be very cross with me. She took me to the vet (aka Max the stabby place) again. She told the mean vet lady that I'd been acting "neurotic" and that I was pooping outside the box. So what? I don't like the box, and I especially don't like to share it with Percy. Oh she tried a new covered box, thinking I wanted more privacy, but really I poop outside the box because I don't like my environment to change. And lately, her man-friend has been visiting and I super-don't like him.

He has the audacity to call Percy his "buddy" - whatever. Percy is no one's buddy, he's just so dumb he actually likes humans. When we were at the vet's, I made sure that the vet lady knew I didn't like her so I bit her a few times. Not too hard, where Mommy might spank me, but a pretty firm clinch so she knew I was not happy with the situation.

After I was safely back in my carrier, I heard the vet tell Mommy "Fremont just needs some mood-altering medication to be balanced." Say what??!?! What the heli-copter does that mean??!!

Real dead fresh fish

Mommy went away for either four days or four years - I can't tell which one but it seemed like forever. She left me there with Percy! Then she had that vet friend come feed me and give me water and I hate vets! She smelled like other kitties, dogs and big animals. I was beginning to wonder if Mommy would ever come back...

I heard Mommy say before she left that she was going to the forest. I'm not sure why she wouldn't take me since she knows I love to smell the outdoors and sneak out all the time. But she packed up everything and wouldn't even let me dig in her bag. I wanted to hide under all the clothes so I could go with her. Percy slept the whole time she was gone and I was nervous so I licked and licked and licked.

The licking helped me prepare for when she got back so that I could surprise her with a big pile of kitty vomit. It was huge - one of my better presents. She smelled very strange when she got back. And her man-friend brought in real dead fresh fish!!! Real ones! I assumed they were for me but then he put them in the freezer - wtf?! I'm sure he's just saving them for my birthday or something. Why would any human want to eat real dead fresh fish?

Who are all these people?

On Saturday Mommy and her man-friend were acting really strange. They got up really really early - so early that I didn't even beg for water - and were going up and down the basement steps. Now, I've never personally been in the basement, but I hear there is much to hunt down there.

They took all this junk and put it outside and then all these people came and took it away. There were so many people and it made me nervous because they weren't coming to see me, like most people do. They were coming to buy Mommy's junk and I didn't like it. At first I begged to be on the screened in deck, but then I could actually hear all the people better and I didn't like that. So I went back inside and ended up on the couch, where I could keep an eye on Percy and the people outside.