Freedom

I've been enjoying the spring weather on the screened in porch. I like to go in and out, in and out. I don't know why this annoys my people but it does. Percy doesn't come out as much. Oh sure he likes to watch the birds and squirrels, but he gets scared of noises like lawn mowers and weed eaters. That's fine by me because I don't like him anyway.

While mommy and daddy were working in the yard yesterday, they didn't notice me slip out while they had the porch door open. Oh the freedom! I ate grass, I visited the neighbor's house, I ate more grass and threw up - it was glorious. Mommy got so mad when she saw me trotting across the yard after my escapades. She kept saying "You can't defend yourself out here with your softpaws on" and "Why do you do this to mommy?!" Whatev.

I've been working on getting a section of screen open far enough to slide out any time I want...but that's a story for another day.

Heaven and Hell

No I haven't blogged in a while but that's because some crazy stuff went down! A few weeks ago, my stupid brother starting throwing up green stuff everywhere. Normally, I'm all for throwing up, but only if it's me and if it's chunks of dry food. I might even eat my own vomit.

But this was gross folks. So mommy was giving him all this attention and then she called the freakin' vet! At first I was worried she was going to take me there, but she called for Percy. I thought "Thank God mommy's finally decided to put Percy to sleep. I've been waiting for this day." For two whole days there was no Percy, and I was really getting used to the solitude and people time.

Suddenly mommy took me to the basement and I was freakin' out. I meowed for 48 hours straight until mommy let me go back upstairs. When I got upstairs, Percy was back! I was like "WTH is this?!?" He looked really skinny and mommy and daddy were doting on him. Whatev.

It's like at first I was in heaven when he was gone but then I was in hell when I realized he came back.

Vengeance is Mine Sayeth the Cat

I've been feeling pretty agitated the past few weeks. Especially with daddy. He can be so mean sometimes! He won't ever let me lay on his [my] side of the bed. He yells at me to "go lay down" like I'm a dog! I don't take orders - I'm a cat.

He doesn't seem to understand that I am the cat and he is part of my overall staff. This has really ticked me off and yesterday I got to my breaking point. He was doing laundry and left a basket of clean clothes just sitting out. I couldn't help myself - I peed in it! I got one of his clean shirts good and soaked. Ah the thrill!

Last night he figured it out and shoved my nose in it while spanking me. This did nothing but anger me further. So I went and pooped outside the freshly cleaned litter box.

Mommy's New Blog

Once the spring storms passed my life got much better. I do my best to continue to ignore Percy and poop on Daddy's things. Mommy has really started to become a cook. The sucky thing is she never shares! She's been trying all these new recipes and making daddy happy with food. The least she could do is share with her babies. And some of these things smell really good!

Mommy's sister suggested she start a blog to keep up with the recipes and reviews of the recipes she's done, so she did. Since those little rug rats call her "Crazy Aunt Laura" that's what she's calling the blog.

http://crazyauntlaura.blogspot.com/ Enjoy!

Storms

The last few weeks have been disturbing. First, mommy went off the deep end. She went all psycho on us for no reason at all. Then just when she started getting better last week we had an awful boomer storm. I mean it was terrible. It lasted forever. While I'm not typically scared of anything, I seriously didn't like this one. It sounded like a million cats being thrown in the wind against the house.

Maybe the worst part was mommy and daddy went to the basement and left Percy and I upstairs! It was enough to deal with all the noise and flashing lights, but then Percy was all "I'm so scared Fremont" and "I'm going to hide Fremont" which just made me more agitated.

After what seemed like days but was probably hours, mommy and daddy came upstairs and went to bed. I didn't sleep much that night. And of course Percy didn't come out from under the bed until the next morning.

Ah Spring

I am so glad that the weather has changed! This means I can ask to go in and out the screened in porch as much as I want. Mommy acts like she doesn't want me to do that, but I know she secretly loves waiting on my every want and need.

I was nice enough to vomit under the bed where Mommy and Daddy couldn't find it for a few weeks. The smell threw them off and they would say "did you fart?" and would assume the other was lying. Tee hee hee.

There's a bothersome squirrel who keeps digging in the potted plants on the front porch. If I could just get out there for a few seconds I'd wring his neck! He's so nasty too with a mangy looking tail. Who walks around all dirty like that? Not me!

Poop Attack

Oh! You won't believe this one...So mommy and (gulp) daddy (I just hate having to call him that, but it makes mommy happy) were outside doing something in the yard. I told them I could help them and all but they told me to stay inside so I stayed inside and supervised from there.

After they came back inside, daddy watched tv in the den and mommy went in the office (aka cat pooper room) to do her exercise. All this time Percy is on the bed making a big dent in the memory foam. Suddenly I saw Percy get up with a startled look on his face and once he jumped off the bed I saw why - he had a poop attack! He was actually leaking poop!

Some of it dropped on the floor in the hall before he made it to the pooper room. Daddy got up to see what all the noise was about and noticed some brown stuff on the floor. He thought mommy had dragged in mud from the yard and PICKED IT UP! Didn't take long for him to realize it wasn't mud.

It was great seeing Percy poop on himself and then daddy pick it up - like a dream come true! I'll be replaying this in my mean little mind for years to come.