Has Spring Sprung?

Final-freakin'-ly! I've been waiting for spring to get here forever. Finally over the weekend the cat gods looked upon me with favor and gave me sunshine! Mommy let us go out on the deck for most of the day and I took all my many baths in the sun. Percy acted like an idiot and kept rolling around in the sun like he'd never seen it before. He's such an idiot.

The cat gods giveth, and they also taketh away. This morning I woke up to rain and cold (again). I think I need to pray harder.

Bad Trip

I was tricked! Mommy DID take me to the stabby place. It was one of the worst experiences of my life! First she put me in the soft-sided prison. Then when we got there and were waiting another cat - some dude named Bandit - was sniffing at me. I told him to back away. Not sure why he thinks I would like other cats.

The monster (aka the vet) took me back to weigh me and then stuck something up my arse. I made noises you didn't even realize existed. Why would mommy subject me to this? The monster wrapped me in this towel that smelled like other cats and brought me back into a room where mommy was. I made my dragon kitty noises and they gave me a shot.

When mommy finally took me home I thought "Ok, home is good. All the hurt is over." I was wrong. The monster gave mommy something to stick down my throat everyday! I absolutely hate it so I make sure to let mommy know every time she attempts to give it to me.

There was one small thing that the monster gave mommy...something mommy plugged into the wall and it smelled awesome! It made me feel relaxed and not quite as neurotic as usual. I heard mommy say it was "kitty pheromones" - I don't care what she calls it as long as it stays.

All clear?

I think it's going to be ok. Though mommy got out the soft-sided prison, she did not put me in it. Percy is so stupid that he jumped right in it, but only because there was a mousey in there. Unfortunately, my cat nip cigar was also in there, and I really wanted it, but not bad enough to step a paw into that carrier. I told Percy to give up the cigar or die, and he just stared at me and then leaned down and licked the cigar. I could have killed him!

It took like 87 years for mommy to get the cigar away from Percy and give it back to me in my kitty bed. I'm not sure why she got out my prison, but I guess since she didn't put me in it that I must not be going to the stabby place.

Surely Not...Not the Stabby Place

Surely not...she wouldn't...Mommy wouldn't take me back to the stabby place would she? (Oh, I learned stabby place from one of my kitty peers, Max http://psychokitty.blogspot.com/). She got out that awful prison case for me to travel in. That usually only comes out when I have to go to the stabby place.

I've been able to avoid going for years now. My luck may have run out, kiddos. Stay tuned...

That was a close one...

Last night I was laying on the kitty bed that mommy got for Percy. I was makin' biscuits when suddenly one of my softpaws got caught down in the fabric. I pulled and pulled but couldn't get it out! I traipsed around the house with the kitty bed hanging off my foot and made dragon kitty noises so mommy knew I was hurt. She came at me with a pair of scissors! I wasn't sure what she was doing so I growled a lot, but she just cut the fabric from around my claw so I could get it out. Whew! That was a close one...

What's up with this weather? On Saturday it was perfect! It was warm and sunny and mommy let us out on the deck for what seemed like all day. Then yesterday it was raining really hard and mommy didn't want us to go on the deck. I finally whined and scratched enough that she said "Alright already Fremont" and let me out.

I am still enjoying the new down comforter that mommy obviously purchased for me. I did get in trouble because I was grooming my front claws - and you know mommy makes me wear those dreaded softpaws - and trying to bite off that toxic evil softpaw glue and it drew blood. So I bled a little bit on mommy's white sheets and stuff - what's the big deal? She really yelled about it but I tuned her out (as usual.)

Mommy rocks!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, but you know how busy Christmas can be. I'll fill you in on what's been going on in the Fremont Jones' household the last few weeks. On Christmas morning, mommy gave us treaters! Lots of glorious treaters! I ate so many that I threw up, but I loved them nonetheless.

It was wonderful for like 10 days because mommy was home every day just so she could be near me. She turned on the water and gave me extra kitty massages and lovin'. I'm glad she finally noticed how much I (and Percy too, I guess) was being neglected.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, she went away again! Gone for 9 hours each day and that means no lovin' for me. Of course, it does mean I can nap anywhere in the house without her fussing. I think to make up for it, she brought in a new extra present for me last night. It's a blanket thing that goes on the bed and it has real feathers in it! It's so soft and so warm. I thought I had died my 9th life and finally gone to kitty heaven.

Kudos to mommy! She rocks!